One thing I have learned on this trip thus far is that you find out exactly what home means to a person. I can be many different things to many different people.
I think I mentioned in a previous entry that I was homesick last week for the first time. It caused me to scramble around and grasp onto something, something that made me feel safe. This sudden feeling was brought on by repressed feelings of the boston marathon bombings. I didn’t know how to deal with it, so i shunned those feelings away since it didn’t openly seem like the boys were affected. Lo and behold it did. And once I saw how much it affected them, i was unable to run from it anymore. I cried. I broke. Realization hit and feelings flooded me for the entire week. It opened me up to my relationships back home as well as my new found relationships here.
I realised that i had two choices with this: I can either deal with it alone and appear as if all was well or I can accept the matter at hand and reach out to people. I chose the latter. By doing so, I have strengthened several friendships and created some new ones.
As I mentioned earlier, this homesickness caused me to find something to hold on to. That became evident quickly. To those who don’t know me, I am a huge Disney fan. I mean HUGE. Some may think its childish, but i have no shame. I relish in it. It is my childhood. It is my present. It is the glue in the bond with my mother and my sister. You are supposed to surround yourself in things that make you happy right? It is my happiness. And upon the reaffirmation of that fact, I’ve gained a stronger sense of exactly who I am.
Tonight, I had a disney movie marathon with two girls from my dorm, Hadas and Hilary. We watched Monsters Inc., Brave, and parts of Aladdin. We ate tons of junk food, belted out lyrics to our favorite disney songs and swooned over the wonderful man known as nick pitera. It was refreshing. It was comfort able. It was my home away from home.
To me, Disney is that one thing that brings people together whom i can get along with. It provides me with many more things that I cannot even verbalize.
In summary of a rambling entry, I have finally found my ground here and I am ready to face other challenges that with arise with my head held high and an unwavering spirit.